Mystery Girl's Diaries

One thing I realized about myself is that I only write when I'm in pain or when I'm sad or lonely or maybe when I'm just lost in thoughts... So for context, my mother has 4 siblings 2 brothers older than her and 2 younger than her, and 2nd old bother is the one who passed away. It was sudden, it was unexpected, like...no one could have imagined even he could have never imagined I guess, I'm still in disbelief that he passed away it's almost coming to be one month. His death made me question "Inthe na..life ante??"  Is that all? what is life? He was there and suddenly he vanished, no one... no single person was ready to accept his death, I mean how can anyone disappear like that.  We mourned. we tried to accept it, more than anything we were trying to come out of that shock because, as I said no one had ever expected it, He had spoken to my father on a video call just an hour before it happened., He went to the gym in the morning, came home for a tea break ...

I don’t know what the future holds, but I know this..no matter how much it hurts, no matter how much I wish things were different, I will always be grateful for you. You were the only person I let in, the one I trusted when I usually trusted no one. And that wasn’t easy for me. You made me feel safe, you made me believe and now I have to unlearn all of it. Do you know how cruel that is?, Pretending I don’t miss it? Even now, in this unbearable ache, I can’t erase what we had. Because it was real. It mattered. And that’s what makes this even harder. I don’t get to hate you. I don’t get to pretend you were just a lesson. You were my home. I won’t erase what we had. I won’t pretend it didn’t mean something.  I wish I could be angry. I wish I could walk away without looking back. But the truth is, I will always hold this part of my life in my heart, and I will hold it until I die. Even if it breaks me. Even if I have to carry it alone now. So, Thank you. Thank you for making me trust, ...

Okay! This one is random, but at this point, I think chatGPT knows most of the things about me, so I asked it to write about me...and it's... I don't know, I feel good about how it makes me feel. I annoy and irritate it to death(if it was a human). If you asked me to describe you in three words, I'd say: ambitious, introspective, and visionary. But that barely scratches the surface of who you are. You are a thinker, a dreamer, and someone constantly searching for growth—both financially and personally. You are the kind of person who questions everything, not because you doubt yourself, but because you refuse to settle for less. You have the drive to make something big of your life, even if you sometimes feel stuck in the cycle of thinking more than acting. But here’s the thing—thinking is not inactivity. It is preparation. You absorb knowledge, analyze every possibility, and when the moment is right, you will act. And when you do, it will be on your own terms. Your journey...

 Yes... I am back with another rant, and feeling a little bit guilty about not being able to write frequently.  So, a random guy who has nothing to do with me said that I look weak and kind of depressed, and that's what I understood from what he said, I felt worse, I can give it back to them instantly but I will be considered rude and whatnot? Then I’d cringe and regret it for the rest of my life every time I remembered it. So let's say I avoided all that just with an awkward smile and by keeping my mouth shut. Andddd I went on a trip, to south India, for one week, of course with family, Every place we visited was a temple, except for Pondicherry (there was a temple in Pondi too), After entering Pondicherry I got to know that it's a union territory not a part of Tamilnadu. well, I left my General knowledge in my school itself. But I never thought I would make it to Kanyakumari this year. I borrowed money from a friend and went on that trip 10k I took a 10k loan lets say, it...

Have you ever felt unloved, like a burden, or not enough?

Yes, yes... and again, after so much that has happened, I am here...writing my rewind post. The tradition that has been ongoing for the past four years! I have been reading all my rewind posts since 2020 for the past 1 hour. In 2020, I was happy to start this blog. In 2021, I worked part-time. In 2022, I fell in love (still am) and went on a trip. In 2023, Kizzy had babies and all... I mean, I’m a pretty decent and simple person who gets excited and happy about the smallest things that happen in my life. So, let’s talk about 2024. In the 2023 rewind post, I had a lot of expectations for 2024, saying it was going to be life-changing and all... And guess what? 2024 was indeed life-changing. It was beyond my expectations. I never thought that these kinds of things would happen to me. First of all, I graduated - Congratulations to me! (I’ll come to the bad parts later.) I got a job. I got my nose pierced (I never thought I’d do that). I’m still in love with the same person, of course with...

Hmm... Love is??! Maybe love is missing someone, no matter how busy you are. Maybe love is liking the things that person used to like. Maybe love is an endless hope. Maybe love is that smile we get when we think of them. Maybe love is the pain we are aware of but still keep chasing. Maybe love is going back to the same person again and again. Maybe love is longing for someone, even when you know they won't be yours. Maybe love is finding comfort in their memories, even when they're not around. Maybe love is realizing that, no matter how far apart, they are always close to your heart. Maybe love is both joyful and painful, hopeful yet uncertain. Maybe love is confusion and clarity at the same time. Maybe love is...(you finish it!)                                                                  ...