Mystery Girl's Diaries

Well, 2022 was nice to me...I had good and bad days, it was a year to remember. This year I have to cut people off, I literally deleted a few people's mobile numbers and just stopped having those "fake conversations". This year I learned to value myself and remove myself where I don't feel like I have been respected. However, in 2023. I want to focus on myself and me growing as a person in every way. let me make a list of things for 2023. 1. I'm going to write more this year...if possible I want to journal regularly or in the blog.also, i need to focus on my hobbies at this rate i might forget my drawing and painting skills. 2. I'm going to work on myself...I really have to work on my anger issues, my overthinking, and the stress that I take for unnecessary. 3. and of course as my course is coming to an end I'm going to work for my career...something useful. 4. I'm going to earn this year and save the form the little I have. 5. I want to have a healthy...

These days I'm a little occupied with things and i know I rarely write these days, lets's just put it aside.... This year was everything that I needed... And I was looking at my new year's resolution list...which was... 1. I want to go on trips I don't limit it by saying at least one- I am going on tours or trips whatever, I am traveling that's it. 2. I am not spending money on unwanted things and think before spending 3. I am not going to overthink anything- I am living every moment that's it no more recollection of things, especially the cringing moments 4. I should learn something or earn something by the end of 2022 5. Stay sane, peaceful, and calm- I really have anger issues..so I should try to be patient 6. Last but not least- be confident, believe in me--it's not overconfidence- you should have some self-confidence girl. It's kind of funny(I cringed a bit) to reread it....but yeah I did most of it...I definitely manifested my traveling thing... I ...

 Hmm... that's how I feel these days...when I said these past few months have been a little tough...I mean it....it's. Hard these days... I'm just trying to survive day to day.... it's not that great...and I'm trying a whole lot to not be that way.... I'm trying and trying... But even when I'm trying.....I get tired....I wish I could feel how I feel....I want to feel all the sadness in one day but it doesn't work that way.... it's not easy to move on from whatever you are feeling emotionally.. I know I feel stupid myself to be talking all the wise words when I'm not even able to control my emotions....I feel like an idiot...I romanticize my emotional sadness and try to apply it to everyone... You know they refer to emotional monkey or monkey emotions or monkey mind something like this that that is what I'm, I'm an idiot of my emotions and I can't handle them sometimes, it's like a flood or tsunami of emotions I can't help but ...

 I know it has been soo long... let's say these days, I am out of track. Or you can say I am occupied with soo much..or you can say I found someone with who I can rant randomly. The truth is this project thing that messing up my head, Then, of course, I was not feeling great mentally most of the time, there were a few bursts outs once in a while, but yeah I guess I'm okay, this is a mess is what makes me ME. The irony is I also had great times in between, probably some of the best times. it's really weird that these two months were, how should I say....typically confusing or a perfect balance of... two extremes like love and hate, sadness and happiness everything happened. okay, what I have realized is hanging in there and holding on to things even if the days get tough....maybe between these days, I forgot to love myself, yeah once in a while everyone needs to remind themself to love themself....whoever, reads this, love yourself a little more today.         ...

CHANGE. Well, recently I have been to my HOME, I don't know if this is a condition but when I travel I think it's not even thinking it's kind of analysis if I can say  I just slipped my brain to 5 years back this time..all those times in 2018 I have gone through, and suddenly   I'm here in 2024 in 5th year...How the times have changed.Once upon I was scared to travel alone and now I want to travel alone somewhere now... How impulsive and aggressive I used to be in those years, so many things have changed, I used to be super annoyed by people, and I still get annoyed by people but that doesn't bother me like it used to be... Maybe it's that phase of life where you have to realize that people and nothing changes, irrespective of your likes and dislikes...still we are lucky enough to avoid certain things and people whom we don't like...we have to feel lucky for that, at least we have that option in our hands. What I feel proud of myself for is I have never forc...

{Oct 26} I am literally watching this 8 season's last episode laughing, getting emotional, and all... I don't know what I am going to do with my life after this series ends? This series had everything that I needed. {Oct 03} I have completed this series today... What should I do with my life now... This "friends" is better than the few I have in reality... This series has my heart, This series made me laugh at the lamest jokes, I don't know that we can cry watching a comedy series that too with comedy punch lines in it...I mean it was emotional at times...  well, it has a whole life in it... It was worth all the hype it has, you can imagine that people are relating and vibing to the same series that was released in 2001...it was the year that I was born. This is going to be my go-to series and it is a part of my life from now on that's it.

 Crying has always been a part of my life... you can call me sensitive or crybaby or whatever. coz even I thought, that I was sensitive, I blamed myself for a few years and you know as I went through a phase where all I did was cry...well it was bad and I will be bad when I lose control. and here I am stopped blaming myself and yeah this is the way I am. I am sensitive, I am emtotioanl. I get deeply connected to things..there was a time when I cried because some kids plucked the plant that I planted. Everyone has different coping mechanisms for the things that happen in their everyday lives, maybe crying is my way of coping with things. and because of "Me" feeling too much for things or emotionally getting connected to things, I can understand things in a different way, maybe because of that, I can write whatever I'm writing here. So embracing ourselves, the way we are is necessary once in a while but don't encourage yourself in such a way that bothers others. and I s...