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Hollow

 Hmm... that's how I feel these days...when I said these past few months have been a little tough...I mean it....it's. Hard these days... I'm just trying to survive day to day.... it's not that great...and I'm trying a whole lot to not be that way.... I'm trying and trying...

But even when I'm trying.....I get tired....I wish I could feel how I feel....I want to feel all the sadness in one day but it doesn't work that way.... it's not easy to move on from whatever you are feeling emotionally..

I know I feel stupid myself to be talking all the wise words when I'm not even able to control my emotions....I feel like an idiot...I romanticize my emotional sadness and try to apply it to everyone...

You know they refer to emotional monkey or monkey emotions or monkey mind something like this that that is what I'm, I'm an idiot of my emotions and I can't handle them sometimes, it's like a flood or tsunami of emotions I can't help but feel a sad and cry without reason....I have my reasons like stress and all but still, I feel like an idiot 

I know this is not me....but this is what happened to me and things that happened to me made me...I don't know how many days it takes.... I'm trying so hard not to face the thing I did last time....I know I'm stronger than I was last time....I know how to face it.... I don't know if I'm waiting for my people's support or my own realization but I get through this.

If you have some loving people around you...even if they are fake...keep them around you...in times like this, all you need is someone who loves you.....even on the days you hate yourself it feels good to have someone to love at your worst times.... growing in a typical Indian family with so many internal issues made me lack that.... Maybe that is why I feel greedy to have all the love.

I need to focus on myself again...I need to work on myself..I want to see myself happy again.


                                                                                                                             -Mystery girl

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