Mystery Girl's Diaries

I don't know what I am doing with my life these days... I don't know if I am impatient, impulsive, or aggressive... It is overwhelming... I have even cried after moving in..because it was too much for me to accept and all that happened in a single day... and guess what?! I left that internship after my 3rd day of work...of course, it was not at all related to my academics and they kind of started to stress me...well after all this what I thought was will I be ever able to do a 9 to 5 job. and my love life...I am trying my best..it is at its best right now. I am also enjoying these days...discovering new things about myself ...I am chef material believe me...I am pretty proud of myself... well I am also lazy....but these days I am having quality sleep and great naps. I just hope everything happened for something good in the future and I badly want to earn this year.                              ...

I know...I know... I am being lazy and busy these days and in between these days, some massive changes have happened in my life in the last week.  Sooo... I have moved out of the hostel and NOWW, I am living alone in my space(I am screaming inside). I don't know if what I did is right or what I did was a great decision but yeah it is what I have always wanted and it happened....I have manifested indeed. Of course, my parents are aware and I happened to have a small argument kind of thing at the hostel that I have stayed in. Well! let's say, it helped me to move out finally... I have struggled soo much more than I need by staying there. on this note, I am really grateful for my family and mossttt importantly my friends, who support me, help me, and tolerate me ... I am really really grateful for having a few people who always think of me and look after me.... all the love right back to them Anyway, Wish me luck.... all I know is whatever happens it is going to be an experience, ...

   "Not everything lost needs to be found  Not everything you lose is a loss. Some situations are meant to free you. Some experiences are meant to teach you. let them." Let's say it is the quote of the day. I don't know, but I want to look back on this quote someday when I lose something(yeah my life is different having different kinds of fantasies). I haven't really lost something that serious till now or whatever I lost was not that important probably I don't leave things that easily if I feel that important in my life. whatever or whoever lost me, it is their loss clearly. Not for me everyone should feel like that, if you have given your best in a relationship or to a person it is never your loss. Whatever was lost was never yours or never meant to be yours. The attachment might be hard to forget, and the memories might be hard to remember but everything has a threshold is what I believe, there comes a point in everyone's life where things stop botherin...

 As my new year resolution says, I'm going to read THE "BOOKS" rather than  E-books. How can I miss the best-selling book, actually I have an ebook copy of this long back, however, I have finally read it. It is the first fictional book I ever read, I read a book called her last wish a long back, but it was a real story. I received both part one and part two by valentines day and I can't hold my excitement I have read it like anything and I still can't contain my excitement to write about it that if I wait any longer I might leave something out. I don't know if I can say it was relatable and I was kind of an exaggerated version of life in any way or it was me over understanding things. I felt so many things reading this book, I was too much involved that and I kept wondering if I'm able to write a book like that ever. but I really wish and hope I could someday. the writer wrote it soo well, she carried those emotions all throughout the book, it is definitel...

 I  knoww, I knoww...it's been long.... veryy longg. I can't really say if I'm being happy or sad or busy(I mean occupied with things) these days. and I don't seem to have the energy to put myself through things twice to write something out of it. when I look back everything feels normal but when I'm living those situations it's either sad, stressful, or my anger. and I have started reading this irritatingly interesting and sad book IT ENDS WITH US, of course, everyone knows it. it's that overhyped. As always I am continuing to be a confused and overthinking soul and with all the overwork I'm doing I became a lazier person. Is this always me or does everyone thinks that they took a wrong decision after taking a decision, I don't know but I end up taking the biggest decisions of my life and then overthink, and then I'll have a mental breakdown and then I regret and then I realize I was doing and what happens to me is normal, my life is way worse t...

Soo...This year I have decided to give respect only to the people who respect me and to the people who deserve that genuinely... all these days I have been giving respect to people irrespective of their behavior towards me and my parents and the people I love. I decided to not tolerate any more disrespect from anyone... I'm never stopping myself from keeping them in their place...as always I will be giving my damn opinion right on their faces. coz I'm enough hurt by people and what hurts me the most is the people hurting me who don't even deserve to take that respect from me... everything that I  do comes straight from my heart...I don't fake anything, even if I fake it, it comes straight out of my heart and you can literally see that in my face. It is me being exhausted and frustrated dealing with disgusting people and especially people who bitch behind my back. and I tell you, people! no matter who you are...no matter who you are and what you do...no matter what is yo...

Soo in the beautiful course that I chose with my own hands, has a project in 5 years. For that project, I had to visit schools...we visited a private school and a government school in this process... It was a hell and heaven experience...of course nostalgia hit me in between... Private school was a bit easy....the kids understood the questionnaire a bit quickly they were disciplined (almost). but govt school...OMG...it was a scary experience... they were not at all behaving like students...it was almost a jungle and I felt like I was in between a group of monkeys. ...we lost our minds at the end of the day after watching all the drama over there. Then I got angry...I rant about it to everyone I met after that.. really frustrating coz..coz even the faculty there was ridiculous..the way they communicated the way they received us was really ridiculous...I was really angry with them for their behavior... And then I got angry about the whole govt education system...I mean how many funds do ...