Mystery Girl's Diaries

 I just want to rant here and write about all the negative things about friends and friendships. BTW.....IDK how he manages to write the most relatable posts to me. https://www.instagram.com/p/CvKzMWKv2Cy/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA== First of all, not everyone whom you call friends or whom they call you friends are not your friends. Don't consider them friends when they can't even stand for you, in your absence. Don't consider them friends who can't fight for you and don't invest your energy fighting for them. Leave those people who tell you what others are talking about you, coz people don't tell anything bad about you to your friends unless they are friends with someone who talks ill about you. Not all those who talk nicely in front of you are not your friends. Not every friend is happy for your happiness. Friendships in this generation are hard to find, I am talking about loyal friendships.                        ...

 After being out in the world for quite a long time... After meeting enough people to understand how the world behaves and ACTS... I feel like I have failed to find good friends around me... I regret that I don't like people for what they are...  I mean how bad a person can be toward another human...how much a person can affect others but just talking nonsense about others... These days I'm feeling very bad... It's a different kind of bad... how dysfunctional, how ill-functional society are we leaving, or maybe it's just I am... I went through so many phases because of the vibes around me... lets's say mindsets... I may sound like I hate people, I may sound like I'm too much negative and I may sound like I'm just sharing the negative side... but NO...I am a human too...I do think... You know there are times when I blamed myself, there are times when I felt like I'm the one who is wrong, and there are times when I get angry with myself about not being abl...

 From drafts (11-06-23) yeah, from all the situations and conversations I went through....which made me think... like yeahh!! I am different, I think differently, I behave differently, it's not an abnormality kind of difference, but a difference that came out of the situations I have been through, a difference that came from all the hard times I have been through, a difference that I have faced from the people, which my younger soul doesn't deserve, but yeah, I have raised from all the mean and harsh things that life has thrown at me, I can't think like a normal kid would do and I can't be careless like a person who is my age would do, My kind of life is living peacefully with whatever I have, I don't know if I'll be able to make a lemonade or not with the lemons that life has thrown at me...but I'm trying to separate the bad ones from the good. I am a different person who needs to be loved differently, in my way. I am different, not bad or spoiled. I am dif...

The amount of mental...sorry it's not mental..... it's an emotional breakdown, The number of emotional breakdowns I have been facing has drastically increased. to be exact....these days are being a little tough...I don't know...I don't know if I should deal with myself, people, or my career. I don't know why I am like this, I am questioning everything about me and everything that I have done till now..the way I am... living like me is tough. (this was a drafted post on 26/6/23 and today is 5 actually 4/07/23 I'm still feeling and facing the same). You know living alone and the stage of final year college is a stressful phase itself and along with all this, there are people (of course people are always my problem coz no matter how much careful I was and no matter how much effort or genuine I am, people are the worst. trust me, worst..only a few of them...when I say few it is hardly one or two are worth it). coming back to the topic...I don't know if everyone ...

 As I sat on the train... I was watching from the window, and it made me feel the same thing.... stone in the flow remember?!..... It was the same...I am constant or stable, but the world felt like running past me But this time...I thought differently....it is maybe because of me....or...the way I feel things.......at times, I do stop and feel the things around me.... perhaps that's why I think I'm not moving at all or like I don't feel the movement in my life..... I know it will sound cliche but even my train is moving.....so does my life.! Sometimes I make things complicated but even those complicated thoughts give me damn good answers and I love it! BTW this was my last summer vacation....struggle starts from here... I still felt the same sadness that felt when I'm leaving home for the first time.. and you know what...I did faint at the railway station, it was my first-time-public-solo-fainting 😂...however I was safe and my friends came to pick me up as I reached th...

 That's what I was titled when I was trying to have an emotional conversation recently...what do you expect after that...Do you think that person has no self-respect or what?!.. When a person is trying to break the silence or awkwardness or trying to take the conversation a step ahead and open up about how they feel... "DRAMA"??!.. that's not how one should respond...make a minimum effort to understand where the person is coming from. No matter how hard you try some people are here to carry their generational traumas with them and some are building new. Being an empath or a so-called-sensitive person in between people who are scared to show their emotions, and who consider communicating or expressing as DRAMA, is hard. Seriously, it's really hard sometimes to be an empath, I really don't want to understand, I don't want to care about how they feel after what they did to me and sometimes I want to hurt them as I was...but I can't...I really can't he...

I don't know if my blog always feels so sad or blue or depressed or if it's just my feeling. currently, I am pretty much more than sad...maybe anguish agony level of sadness. that was on 15th April 9:04 pm. even I'm surprised sometimes when I read this kind of thing from..pretty intense... coz I believe I'm a happy person but when I get sad I'm sad too...I experience a level of sadness as much as I experience extreme happiness. me being that sad for a few hours doesn't define me or the way I live ...I'm positive a person and I do have negative times too.  yeah, today's post is about me and everyone and what they feel about themselves. I don't know if people judge or not but judging a person based on their one-day story or one-day behavior you can't decide the person's way of life. I am not ranting this because someone said something to me... I m hearing this because I judge myself more than anyone... At times of uncertainty, I blame myself fo...