FEW THINGS

I don't know if my blog always feels so sad or blue or depressed or if it's just my feeling.

currently, I am pretty much more than sad...maybe anguish agony level of sadness.

that was on 15th April 9:04 pm.

even I'm surprised sometimes when I read this kind of thing from..pretty intense... coz I believe I'm a happy person but when I get sad I'm sad too...I experience a level of sadness as much as I experience extreme happiness. me being that sad for a few hours doesn't define me or the way I live ...I'm positive a person and I do have negative times too.

 yeah, today's post is about me and everyone and what they feel about themselves.

I don't know if people judge or not but judging a person based on their one-day story or one-day behavior you can't decide the person's way of life.

I am not ranting this because someone said something to me... I m hearing this because I judge myself more than anyone... At times of uncertainty, I blame myself for everything which is not even in my control.

 I cry I get depressed, I get demotivated... I feel miserable and I feel everything in between.

but that is not what I am... That just says that I am a human but there are people who feel and tag themselves as depressed and all and I really really get irritated because DEPRESSION really sucks and it's a clinical condition...This generation is really fantasized about loneliness and depression and relations.. they think it's cool to caption their intsa pictures as this is a sad generation with happy pictures, I mean it's awful. I don't even know how and who brings awareness among them..

sorry I got carried away...where I was, yeah I blame, I cry for a moment then I move on, I eat I run my errands, I do my work isn't all that makes me human. eventually, after an hour or two, you find me laughing. 

I was depressed for a period of my life and it WAS in the past... it was also because I was studying about the same things maybe I have also fantasized or it might be because of the stress and all the internal trauma that I have facing and yeah life has been hard... life has been soo hard to me if I think that way but I had fair shares of very precious experiences too... I have the worst people and yeah I have few genuine people. I am just grateful for everything.

Yes, we humans blame and sometimes we fell into that dark deep hole most of the time we push ourselves into it... some smart kids get out of it but many of them will be struggling.. let's not judge a person that he is happy or sad based on some random Instagram post or WhatsApp status unless you really want to help or know them completely.

we feel things and once in a while we get swayed by them and it's completely normal unless you are unable to do your work for weeks to months. we all have our coping mechanisms and yeah I'm just here to remind myself that crying is not depression it just means that I'm sensitive and I get intimidated and that's my coping mechanism that never defines what I'm or what my work is.

and you know what...currently, I'm giving my 5th-year final exams, and like every time I pray and I hope I will pass all the subjects like every time. I cannot work or at least I cannot start preparing for the exam unless I'm under the pressure of having exams on the next day...that's my way of studying I don't want to be on the book for like...days. and yeah it's okay and it's even better if I change my way.

and yeah I feel like I should have a great listener in my life who is not too mature but yeah should have a broad mind because rather than arguing I want to talk about things every little thing... I want to discuss.. let's just say I'm surrounded by the wrong people or I'm the wrong one among them which is good too that's what made me start this blog I guess... EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON.

Okay, that was the random rant for today...Now I have to study for my exam which is after a day...just wish me luck and pray for me...let me manifest...I will all clear my subjects this year too..

                                                                                                             - Mysterygirl