Mystery Girl's Diaries

 https://youtu.be/pCXZKv8tmTQ  okay this video made me think of "my" phase, which I never talked about, maybe I was scared of that thing , maybe I was trying to avoid that thing/hiding it within me.  now the time has come, I have to say yes I went through this thing called "DEPRESSION". the first thing i never share it with any single person becaz i don't think they take mental illness just like physical illness they will consider it as madness and again they start judging you and more over they bring this thing again and again in your life no matter how happy you are (i mean they keep reminding you).  coming to "my phase" i don't think i have a single reason for its cause. there are so many factors that influenced me, from my academic stress to family situations, i felt so much pressure on me. suddenly there was so much sadness in my life and i wasn't able to handle it. i used to cry like an idiot, i felt helpless... i never felt like that som...

 Why don't people admit the things they do and how they make feel others... if you make someone feel something and you know it. then why don't you admit that shit Mann. do I look like stupid fu*k to people... I mean I am a human being too, I can sense things too and I can say that my gut feelings never go wrong. and what makes me go crazy is they ask me the bullshit they do and say I never meant it...what I am I? an idiot?. why do they do this kinda shit when they don't have some confidence to say something directly and lie very easily? like how? why? and they make an opposite person feel like shit okay whatever I am no more interested in dealing with nonsense anymore, just wanna say never make someone feel bad for what you have done to them just admit it.                                                                 ...

 Yeah...these days my hostel to college journeys have become annoying and a little scary... Today I was returning home again because of this stupid lockdown againnn... don't know why but this time I was not at all feeling to go home. However, I am home now. So last time when I was traveling in a bus there was some drunk Psycho person...he stared at me continuously (I was really scared by that stare) and he was doing something with his mobile, don't know what he did but it appeared like he was clicking pictures 😑😑😑 and today I was going to bus stand in an auto he was asking that should he come to drop me till railway station 😑( I'll usually travel in train for which I have to take a bus to go there). Anddd those weird stares omg,whyy? Whyy a girl has to face this all isn't it because of this stupid society, no matter how much freedom a girl gets for their family they have to face all this shit in this society just because she is a girl. Technically I am not that attr...

 You can love someone and still choose to say good bye to them..... you can miss a person everyday and still be glad that they are no longer in your life. 

          this is one of my favourite songs, this lyrics has that confusion that I have, I mean this is just beautifully written, that I relate to... have you ever listened to something like "a song that feels like a warm hug", if it's real then it is one of those for me.                                                             Kaadani nuvvantunnadee..  Avunani vinipistunnadee.. nijamenaa O.. kaadani nuvvantunnadee Avunani vinipistunnadee.. nijamenaa Emo.. emannaano Emo.. em vinnaavo Em kaavaalantunnadee Atu itu ooge nee madee.. telisenaa Em kaavaalantunnadee Atu itu ooge nee madee.. telisenaa Emo.. em kaavaalo Tanakee.. teluso ledo Emo.. em kaavaalo Tanakee.. teluso ledo Kore.. varamedo.. munumunde niluchunde Inkaa.. kalalenaa.. kanupaapaa Chere.. dariyedo.. rammantoo eduraite Choostoo.. niluchode terachaa...

I'm not a girl, Not yet a woman- Britney spears lyrics is just.❤❤❤   I used to think I had the answers to everything But now I know That life doesn't always Go my way, yeah Feels like I'm caught in the middle That's when I realize I'm not a girl Not yet a woman All I need is time A moment that is mine While I'm in between I'm not a girl There is no need to protect me It's time that I Learn to face up to this on my own I've seen so much more than you know now So don't tell me to shut my eyes I'm not a girl Not yet a woman All I need is time A moment that is mine While I'm in between I'm not a girl But if you look at me closely You will see it in my eyes This girl will always find Her way I'm not a girl don't tell me what to believe (Not yet a woman) I'm just tryin' to find the woman in me, yeah (All I need is time) oh, all I need is time (A moment that is mine) that's mine While I'm in between I'm not a girl...

little changes that happened to me....people are telling me that I have changed ...maybe I did! I am talking less, I am not giving a damn about things that are not related to me, I am no more interested to discuss someone unless the person is important to me.  yeah, I am trying to let go of things, I am not at all up to hate someone. you are either important to not matter at all.. and I am trying to be positive and happy mostly... I consider all of these as good changes, some people are getting offended that I am ignoring them, I don't know how well they understood me, but it's still fine. I am not going to overthink. I hope life moves on like this #goodvibesonly.