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I was reading My posts

Basically, I write as I think and I don't check the written lines coz I will lose the thought chain and it flows naturally...

I was checking the stats, and I don't know if someone read my posts, they all were showing on the stats, so I started opening one after another, and these are posts that I wrote in 2020 and 2021.....Poor baby, she wasn't even 20 or barely 20....

I remember the days I was depressed and life felt like hell....now let's say I got eagle eye view...I still cry...I still feel blues and greys, but not constantly. I get back up....but that period of my time was like something next level....like reality hit me on a different level...I started maintaining emotional distance from people... let's say I don't like people... because each and every person is faking...and thinking of their benifits...their is not genuine connection especially in blood relations except my mother and brother in my lifee...they are the only selfless people I have..and even they cant show or love me loudly coz they had thir traumas and their life all the way...and beacuse of them I am the perosn i am today..

You know I don't even remember most parts of my life... because I was in my survival mode all the way .....I just kept telling myself that it will get better since the beginning...I don't know if it got better...But I learnt coping and understanding, and reasoning things..

I just don't know ..I feel bad for her...but yeah, I am living and learning because of her, actually thanks to that depressive episode of my life...Actually, I always wanted to be seen, to be heard, understood, and wanted...but these things come from other people, which is not in your control... 

And you know the funny part? I don't even know how to accept those things..

I love how she was...nothing like me but me...


                                                                                                            -Mystery Girl


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  1. Rapid PhysicaAugust 1, 2025 at 11:18 PM

    I feel that "I have seen you grow." I've read your post and experienced your emotions, including anger and struggle. It seems that you are 25. You have a lot to learn.

    Before I forget, let me wish you a Happy Rakshabandhan.

    My blessings are with you.

    Enjoy !

    ReplyDelete

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