Mystery Girl's Diaries

August 30, 2023(drafted one)  I'm sitting on a bus...I was enjoying my time with the cold Breeze and a beautiful view of the sunset, and golden clouds.....but something distracted me...... people talking on calls...... almost I guess almost ro yrs uncle was planning a Goa trip, and Some other guy some other shit.....we live in the same world at the same time....it amazes me every time how different we are and how beautiful is that difference.                                                                                                                                         ...

I find it amusing that I write these posts either when I am full of emotions or after moving on from those emotions.. most of the time I start typing aggressively at that moment, then draft it. When I sit and read after getting settled... I read it with a completely different mindset. like this post...I titled it on the 7th but today is the 9th...yeah so much has been happening and so much has happened this year and I want to write each and every detail of those emotions... I'll do it in parts but yeah...first the context and the main point! I heard a quote that says when you love beyond yourself self only then do you know completely about yourself. I experienced that this year...and yeah I should write a completely different post on my relationship...more details on that but for now...I have struggled so much in this relationship but yeah I'm learning about myself and how a relationship works and all....grateful that I got to know about myself.. and when I said my world was fa...

 yeah.....finally, I got my turn to vote for the first time at 22 years. but I'm pretty sad about the result coz...someone stupid became CM and I feel awful for the present CM I mean ex-CM coz I think he really deserves another chance, he did soo many things, GREAT things I say....I don't know if anyone knows about Mission Baghiratha...it is something huge that not anyone could think of or risk....he had that gratitude to think of it as his state. After all that he did, I don't care if he is corrupted or ate people's money as they say coz no one brought that change in all these decades you imagine a company like Amazon knowing a place like Hyderabad without their efforts. I don't know much about politics but I saw the change in the state. I don't know about the World Cup match but today was very intense and this loss is feeling very personal. I don't know what people are celebrating, I mean are they even realizing who the leader has become. #FirstTimeVotingS...

 There I said it... of course...because forgiving and forgetting IS BS! (bullshit). really! does anyone reallyy..really forget something they did?? or something that happened to them??? IT IS ONLY ACCEPTING AND MOVING ON!!! and that part, that hurts, is neither easy to accept nor to forget. Things like surviving, struggling, getting hurt, healing....... nothing is easy in life... I mean literally nothing is easy, everything is hard and every day is one kind of struggle... BUT  it never occurs in our head that these things are hard... we have normalized it soo much that we blame ourselves, we feel bad and we also guilt trip.  It's not everyone's cup of tea to be strong and take it easy to forgive and forget. It is okay to be different, feel different, and it's okay if we feel difficult coz that's how it is supposed to be.... on the other hand I'll say...everything is as we think and as we feel...if we think it's hard it will be hard... it's US who gives power...

In the process of living, we just make ourselves so small that we start giving so much of ourselves and so much value to other things that affect us... I mean we don't even realize it until we explain it to someone else we should value ourselves more from the beginning so that we don't feel lost.                                                                                                                                -Mysterygirl

I guess there is no place for people who want genuine and long-lasting relationships. People here seem to want only temporary things to satisfy them in the moment. They are willing to let go of a permanent person for their fleeting pleasures. YES, this is a generation where everything has become VALUELESS, and there is NO RESPECT for any kind of relationship. And YES, these people don't deserve true love. They chase after benefits, not a complete relationship. It's heartbreaking that people don't respect or value you, even after you've begged them to do so. The level of disrespect and blame you have to endure as if it's ONLY your mistake and never theirs, is truly sad. People who once pleaded with you to talk to them will now ignore you to the point of emotional annihilation. It's all so sad, and they don't even have the decency to change their behavior or leave you. I'm living through hell every single day with a person who neither communicates nor chan...

 I don't know what I'm feeling currently...all I can say is it's a mess and it's getting hard day by day.... surviving a day alone is an achievement for me recently.... I know I made the wrong decisions...I made mistakes and I fell into those mistakes soo deeply that...I can't even see a way to get out back.... People hurt you to death...then pretend like nothing is wrong.... people make you feel everything then someday...you are nothing to them... suddenly they start acting weird and all....they leave you alone....they make you feel alone... They will be smiling and having fun around you like nothing has affected them... it hurts...it hurts... I regret all my choices.... depending on people is all the wrong one could do to themselves and I feel helpless and alone. After investing my everything all I get is.... loneliness                                        ...