Life updates - Jan 2026

January so far was all about trying new things… and also learning and unlearning things. and also romanticising my life AGAIN...I was always that person, and I knew it, and I am ME, Myself after soo long.

I got my first tattoos, I got my eyebrows done for the first time, and yeah, I’ve been to almost every event that happened in the city in the past few weeks. But since last week, I’ve been spending time in the hostel, and yeah, it’s cool. I love lazing around.

And I just finished my 21st therapy session, and I didn’t even realize that I took this many. Maybe it’s my safety net for now, coz nothing feels safe and I don’t feel safe enough inside me to trust myself and be okay on my own. And it took a long time to accept it as a fact, but it’s true. I need to work on myself a lot, and yeah, I’m on the way, and I don’t know how it goes.

And you know what I realised after all this… we have to go on, no matter what.

I wish life were some kind of bike..to park it somewhere for a while. I was always exhausted from living my own life. I wish I could park it. But life goes on, right?

And for now, my therapist saying that she is proud of me is the only thing that matters. Coz she knows what I’m going through and how many efforts I’m putting in. And yeah, even I’m proud of myself. I can see the growth, the evolution of my character that’s happening. You remember? I always used to write I want to be a better person. And yeah, it’s a continuous process, and I’m definitely better than yesterday and lesser than tomorrow.

And you know, I attended today’s session thinking that it would be my last session, but no...It was going all smooth, and in between the conversation, she questioned me… are you scared of being happy? And I don’t know what button was turned on...I started crying, which rarely happens these days in therapy. But I cried, and I was surprised, coz it was new. I thought I knew about myself, but no....there is still so much more. That’s that.

Keeping all that aside… I’m really grateful for the people who stayed with me through these tough times. But still, I’m scared of letting people closer to me. Coz each and every single person hurts me in one way or another, and you know no one is here to love unconditionally. And I’m trying to make peace with it. And I’m trying to learn not to put people on a pedestal.

And today, being Sunday, someone almost ruined my mood by saying I’m being too nosy. I mean, wtf. I don’t give a shit about her. She’s been here for hardly one or two months. I was just being nice to her, and I’m not guilty about it. But yeah… see, I’m still bothered by people around me. I still get so affected by people around me. One day, it will change, and I will change that.

That’s like a trigger warning for me to keep my boundaries. All my life, I had these boundaries, but yeah, I need to learn not to let people enter into my life and give a shit about them. But yeah… It’s okay. I’ll be fine, and I’ll figure out a way to not get affected by others.

And one thing my therapist quoted was…

If you don’t see things for what they are, you’ll see things for who you are.

And yeah, let’s just end it here.

I’m excited for next month.

Manifesting so many new things, solo adventures (I have a whole list of things to do on my own), and also a good job with good pay.

God, please.

2026 will be different. 2026 is different. And it is my year.

And I don’t know why...I just feel it.

                                                                                                                        -MysteryGirl