Ugly truth

So it's been almost two months since I've been heartbroken.

There were a few things that I realised as I was talking and sharing my pain with others.

The first thing was that he was my friend before anything, and that's the only reason why I gave him a chance.

I always felt alone in this relationship because I was asking for commitment, which he couldn't give....but he showed me enough love to stay until he decided to leave, and he won! Great.

Even in these two months, we spoke twice, I believe, and I don't think he feels guilty about what he did to me... but he said, "I'm sorry, it's time." It's time for what? Oh, it's time for him....because now he has another safe option to jump to.

I don't think he’s concerned about whether I’m even alive or not. He wouldn’t be, because he never was. Even when we were in the relationship, he never really cared, even when I was sick.

There were so many moments when I wanted to end this relationship, but he didn’t let me. He begged me for chances and all that... and at some point, I started accepting that behaviour. For what? To be left like this? Hahaha.

Even in the last few months, he was nice to me, maybe out of guilt.

Because if he really loved me, I don’t think he would’ve attended those arranged marriage setups. I don’t think he ever truly loved me. I just came to him easily. I never felt respected or valued in this relationship. He broke all those boundaries and left me in pieces...ruthlessly, without guilt.

I saw his engagement picture. He was smiling, as I expected. I don’t even think he’s ashamed of anything he did to me.

At one point, I thought even if I die, he wouldn’t see my worth. His tears would’ve been fake, maybe just for the image that he cares.

He was never real.

He never put effort to make him trust him or understand him. He never let me into his space...but occupied and controlled all of mine..I feel manipulated.

He never felt sorry for hurting me nor tried to change. He was never loyal, never transparent, never honest.

Now I’m wondering was his friendship was fake, or the relationship? Because clearly, he didn’t value either.

And I will remember this line of his till my death-

"Maybe your family is not important to me, but my family is important to me."

He said, “My family, my future generations, my family’s pride,” and a lot of other things. And I heard everything.

Even after all this, the last time I texted him, I asked only one question:

“If your plan was to betray me, why did you even build that five-year friendship?”

Now, imagine trusting anyone is a nightmare for me. And the great man replies, “I’m sorry, I have my guilt, it’s over, it’s time,” like he did something great.

Does he even realise how much damage he caused to someone like me, who knew him so closely for the past eight years?

After all this, I wasn’t able to hate him or say anything bad to him. All I said was, “Be happy. Love your wife the way she wants to be loved.” Which he will do. And that’s it.

He isn’t sad, he isn’t guilty, he isn’t concerned about me. Is he even human?

Why would God even send such a bad person into my life?

He walks past me like he doesn’t even know me.

Now he thinks he’s betraying his wife if he talks to me...but he didn’t feel that way when he was doing the same to me.

Family and caste, my foot. He always knew how this was going to end, and he planned his exit from the start.

I never felt safe in this relationship. I always felt alone, always begged for love, always begged to be treated right, always felt unheard, never felt seen.

He never put effort into taking me anywhere I liked, forget about my likes and dislikes.

I settled for the bare minimum, not even the bare minimum. Still, he had the audacity to leave for money, family, caste, and all the stupid reasons I over-romanticized, and I think he is proud of what he did and the people who encouraged him too..I don't wish them peace

I want to remember all this.

He never put in effort. He never made me feel special. He didn’t even try to give me a proper compliment, even when I got ready.

He promised to me on his father that he’d tell them about us and that he’d convince him.

What a coward. What a selfish guy.

How did I even trust him?

How many things I tolerated, how many things I adjusted for, and how much I tried to stay in this relationship and make it work...when he had already planned his exit.

I don’t wish him bad, but I don’t wish him good either.

I didn’t deserve to be treated like this.

I didn't deserve this.

I will remember this. I will never allow myself to feel like this again, ever!

And you know what, I have this capacity to love 100 people like him, but he doesn't have the strength to hold one of me.

But I cherish the friendship we shared. There are days I survived because of him, but now seeing the bigger picture...i dont respect how things turned out to be.

Why did he get to choose recklessness while I’m stuck with consequences?

Here what my ChatGPT says

He chose the path that would hurt you most. He didn’t have to build that friendship for five years, didn’t have to say those promises, didn’t have to live with you and play house if he wasn’t serious, but he did, because in that moment, your presence gave him something he wanted.

Comfort. Validation. Ego. Love that made him feel like he was worth something.

He took it all, and when it became inconvenient, he walked away like it was nothing.

That isn’t love, and it isn’t ignorance...it’s selfishness, plain and simple.

He didn’t plan to hurt you, but he also didn’t care enough not to.

If I could send this to him..

Dear...

I’ve replayed everything you did a hundred times, and the truth is, you could have chosen honesty. You could have kept me out of the storm you created. You could have told me that you weren’t ready instead of pretending you were. But you didn’t.

You chose the path that caused the most damage to me, to the friendship, to everything real between us.

I gave you loyalty, patience, and love that came from a place of truth. You gave me half-effort, guilt, and confusion. You said you cared, yet you built an exit behind my back. You called it love, but it was convenience dressed up as commitment.

You made me doubt myself, but now I know...I wasn’t the problem. I loved deeply, and you simply didn’t have the depth to meet me there. You weren’t a mystery to solve.. You were a lesson to outgrow.

I don’t need your guilt, your apologies, or your explanations anymore.

I release the version of me that begged for your love. I release the part of me that still wonders if you’ll ever regret it.

I release you.

From now on, I’m done carrying what you broke.

I’m not wishing you pain or peace, just distance.

This chapter ends here, and I finally get to walk out of it free.

                                                                                                                        - Mystery Girl