So far, 2025 has been hard, maybe the hardest. Every past year was tough, but this one feels like it's draining the life out of me.
I left my job with hope, and it hasn't even been three months, yet I already feel like a loser. I mean, sometimes I even feel underconfident because it's been almost a year since I graduated, and then...
These months feel like three different lifetimes. I went on a trip in January, which was cool...because it was Kanyakumari. And then, again...
I lost my uncle...Something I never, ever expected to happen.
And now, I'm going through a tough time in my relationship. I mean, why do I have to go through all of this?
It's not like I'm sitting idle. I'm taking on-call shifts at a nearby hospital, thinking about a startup, and applying to hundreds of jobs. But still, I feel like a failure.
I know, I know...I’m not a failure. I’m much better than this. But every single year, life keeps testing my patience and tolerance. At times, I’ve been dangerously close to giving up.
See, when you don't put effort it doesn't matter that much. But when you’re trying every single day, putting in the work, and things only keep getting worse...it’s unbearable.
Sometimes, I go completely blank. Sometimes, I’m angry at myself for making the wrong choices. Sometimes, I cry for no reason...maybe because I’m mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted. And sometimes, I’m full of hope, trying again. And I live for that hope.
Let’s manifest, wish, and believe that one day, things will turn in my favor. That I will become everything I ever wanted to be. That I will be happy...on my own, without needing anyone or anything.
- Mysterygirl
I also left the job before six months. Now planning for something big. Let's see what would happen next.
ReplyDeleteBest wishes for your upcoming adventure.
I was actually waiting for your comment this time.
ReplyDeleteYou’ve been a constant here for so long, and I’ve always noticed.
This ‘planning something big’ line? Now I really wanna know what you're up to.
I don’t usually say this, but I’d genuinely like to stay in touch like, actual friendship, not just random blog comments. Only if you're okay with it, of course.
I'm glad that you want to hear the plan. I will share it, but first let me implement it. I'm too slow in implementation and decision-making.
DeleteI can be a good friend. But you can call me big bro. :)
Haha okay, big bro it is 😄
DeleteBut honestly, I’ve always been grateful for your presence here.
It still blows my mind that a random person found my blog and kept reading so consistently.
In the beginning, I genuinely thought you were someone I knew, just disguised or something 😂
It means a lot to me that you've stuck around this long and kept showing up. Just wanted you to know that.
I don't remember whether I told you or not. I only read your blog because I enjoy your writing style. I like the way you express your thoughts. I once suggested that you should write a book on an intriguing topic.
ReplyDeleteI wish I could actually write something someday… like a real book. Maybe I just need a little more courage (and a bit less self-doubt 😅). But your words genuinely push me a step closer...so thank you, big bro.
DeleteI feel that you are far better than you are today. You just need a positive growing atmosphere. Sometimes we have to create that atmosphere for self-development. I know you will do it. If you don't, I will make you do it :)
ReplyDeleteYou're right... I probably am better than this. Just forgot for a minute or a few months who’s counting?. Thanks for the reminder. Not sure how you plan to 'make me do it,' but hey, I needed the push.
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