I was unlucky...

Yes... yes... I'm still alive. I don't know why, but I always start my posts with "I don't know"... maybe it reflects how confused I am.

Hmm... moving on to my life. As you can see, I'm hardly able to write, and now I'm at a point where I can clearly see that both my love life and professional life are messed up.

I chose the wrong path, even after all these days of thinking and choosing with so much consideration.

And now, I don't know how to get out of either situation.

I've committed to a job role for a year that isn't related to my core subjects at all, and I've given my heart to someone who can never love me the way I want.

Both of these are hurting me.

These days, I'm just stuck in a loop of thoughts, or else I'm crying.

I take things seriously... seriously to the heart and head.

I don't know how to live with all this mess in my mind.

I'm just happy that I have this blog, which is like my sanctuary. I know no one reads this, but the idea of putting something out of my head into this space makes me feel a littttle bit better.

Reading what I’ve written in the past gives me hope. I forgot to mention—or maybe I did somewhere—that I wrote a time capsule letter to myself in 2022 or 2023, to be read after graduation, and I read it with tears in my eyes.

Well, I can't think of anything more to write, so I'll end it here.

I just want to say that no matter how desperately we want something to be right, things don't always go our way. Being someone as sensitive as I am doesn't make it any easier. I'm just trying to accept my fate and stand firm in this storm. Better days will come.

                

                                                                                                            -  Mysterygirl