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IT'S BEEN 5 YEARS

 It has been 5 years since I left home... My struggles have started since then and even today I feel like I'm still the same teenage girl who wants to go back home...and live a simple life.

life has been a hell and heaven to me in these past 5 years...

friendships, relationships, relatives, people, and everything in between have shown me how complicated things can get..how sweet people can be, and of course, the opposite too...

I don't know if everyone goes through these things...but I felt like I didn't deserve to face a few mean things but life happened like crazy...no mercy nothing on me.

I have changed a loot... 

I used to live watching big boss now consider it as some kind of stupid stuff.......I used to be more cheerful and happy these days I'm just an old-ass grumpy lady...and I am still struggling to fake a smile..even though I'm in a relationship...I'm still in need of the love that I have missed for years...I want like tonnns of unconditional love around me surrounding me and everywhere I go...I just want to be happy, genuinely and I expect people around me to be happy genuinely..if there is a place like that tell me, I'm running now.

only I know how desperately I wanted to live alone and I'm grateful but it's hard...I'm realizing how lazy I am. Of course, I'm doing my things but I'm really really lazy most of the time..it is the reason I'm unable to sit and write a post.

It has been 5 years since I had a smartphone which I desperately wanted and moved out of the house and I regret both... I do not regret but lest say decisions I'm not happy with but I'm grateful...like I got to see the reality only after moving out and I didn't realize I was that beautiful unless I had a phone and saw myself through the lens of those cameras.

to the people I met and places I stayed....not everything was nice...I got to experience both but luckily I had good things more than bad.

I know I always rant about struggle and dating people Deep down only I know how much love I have received, how much I was loved, how I was pampered, and how many people wanted me in their lives.

most of the time it was my fault too...I'm a short-tempered person with so much self-respect and ego sometimes and I get triggered easily..soo yeah I struggle much inevitably..

You know there are days I'm barely alive..surviving a day alone was hard and there were days I was on cloud 9..days that cherish a lifetime...

even though the decisions I made were not right always even if they were not perfect...I'm happy with what I got to know and experience but yeah still figuring it out and still struggling in my way.... hope I reach a point where I can shout out loud that I made it someday.


                                                                                                      -Mystery girl

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  1. Rapid PhysicaSeptember 5, 2023 at 10:05 PM

    I think, after a month, you wrote a post. I couldn't believe when I read that you were watching "Big Boss" (for me it's rubbish). Cause I found you intelligent after reading you. :) In reality, you seem to be smart and bold, willing to take on any challenge regardless of the outcome. Your ability to learn from every situation is a commendable trait, and it truly reflects your open-mindedness and adaptability.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mystery Girl's DiariesSeptember 6, 2023 at 12:02 AM

      Yeah..even I can't believe I used to watch that show...and wait...in reality??! Do you know me or you thought .... 🤔??!... And it was so nice of you for all those kind words ❤️

      Delete
    2. Rapid PhysicaSeptember 7, 2023 at 2:52 PM

      You asked a very good question :) As we have never meet personally, I don't know you but I read you. That's the another method of knowing others. So I can say I know you up to some extent and I know that, though your life is full of struggle you will go through it.

      I try to read people and that helps. I think you also know me in the same way...:)

      Delete
    3. Mystery Girl's DiariesSeptember 9, 2023 at 3:28 PM

      ❤ and I would like to know more😉

      Delete
    4. Rapid PhysicaSeptember 9, 2023 at 5:59 PM

      :)

      Delete

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