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Mental breakdown

The amount of mental...sorry it's not mental..... it's an emotional breakdown,

The number of emotional breakdowns I have been facing has drastically increased.

to be exact....these days are being a little tough...I don't know...I don't know if I should deal with myself, people, or my career.

I don't know why I am like this, I am questioning everything about me and everything that I have done till now..the way I am... living like me is tough.

(this was a drafted post on 26/6/23 and today is 5 actually 4/07/23 I'm still feeling and facing the same).

You know living alone and the stage of final year college is a stressful phase itself and along with all this, there are people (of course people are always my problem coz no matter how much careful I was and no matter how much effort or genuine I am, people are the worst. trust me, worst..only a few of them...when I say few it is hardly one or two are worth it).

coming back to the topic...I don't know if everyone goes through this phase or maybe I'm being punished or anything.....I'm surrounded by the people who make me feel THE WORST ever... I don't how people can be this disgusting...Okay...so now that was ME who was angry, hurt.....and there is ME who is depressed and self-blaming herself.....I am literally questioning everything from the beginning...

I am having an existential crisis... I am blaming myself and feeling bad for the way I am and my whole being...I mean that's not me,,, I don't hate myself.. in fact, I used to be obsessed with myself and my character... it's really sad...I'm really sad that I'm feeling this bad and blaming myself to a point where I'm hating the way I'm because of guilty which came out of nowhere coz I never did anything that bad...I never used anyone or I never faked, or actual opinions to anyone... let's say I never bitched or gossiped in a way that hurt anyone.

The image I made of people or the things I believed from people, from what they said to me..is absolutely not the truth... it's like people have a secret life behind my back, then why do they even have to put a show in front of me ...literally...I wish I could slap a few people.

I don't know where it all went wrong...maybe it is me who has an issue with faking...how can people be fine and have fake smiles on their faces...or maybe it's me having some kind of personality or social kind of behavior..maybe everything is normal..maybe it's me who is delusional. 

It just makes me sad how corrupted relationships have become...I mean every kind of relation.

I don't know how many days I need... I just pray to god to give me the energy to face these worst days and people through my life...hope fully I wish to find hope and happiness on the other end.

Once I accept this shit and decide to start ACTING along with them... it will be the end of this struggle. coz people never change and it will be so stupid of me to expect that.

More and more and more strength to people who are struggling like me..coz it's really hard to smile through the faces that keep hurting or making you feel bad...it requires a lot of strength,, hope we find it soon.


                                                                                          - mystery girl



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Comments

  1. Rapid PhysicaJuly 7, 2023 at 10:13 PM

    I was worried when I read the Title. But on the other hand I was also thinking that, now a days, its a part of everyone's life. It is not easy for all to come out of the mental breakdown in few days. It takes time and effort.

    But I am here, Little Sister, to guide you so that this world can have a good hearted people like you. Now a days there is a shortage of really good people with good understanding.

    Remember one thing in your entire life that challenges will be always there in front of you. No one can leave from it. We just have to tackle it smartly. Don't cry for others. Take a deep breath and face it.

    Behave like you know everything. Be relax when critical situation comes. Think how to handle it.

    Will be back soon.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mystery Girl's DiariesJuly 8, 2023 at 11:25 AM

      I know right ?....sometimes IT IS required and it is normal...I mean I took 2 days off and now I'm back with new energy and a stronger mindset.... sometimes everyone or I don't know maybe only "I" need to hit this rock bottom to bounce back to this stronger mindset....And I know in the end I love this about me...hope everyone knows this and get back again with more more strength than before....and only love to you for being with me through this journey of my mood swings and rock bottoms...cheers to us🥂❤️

      Delete
  2. Rapid PhysicaJuly 9, 2023 at 1:15 AM

    Now I can feel your energy....its doubled...may be more. Enjoy dear ! Though I don't drink....but Cheers for the better life 🥂

    ReplyDelete

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