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I'm in love

Finally, I am in love...

With myself. (sorry, not sorry)

These past few days from a month have not been easy as I mentioned earlier, there was a phase of realization between those days.

After all that, I just fell in love with myself again.

I am in love with the way I think, I am in love with the way I perceive things.

I am just loving this me, it's not that I didn't love myself all these days, I did but I feel myself changing, the way I am reacting and accepting things is pretty impressive.

this post has been in drafts for the past few days (i wrote it on the 6th).

and realized so much can happen within 3 days... 

3 days before I thought I was ready to accept and receive love in all forms and I thought I know what I wanted... but NO!... I am still scared of love and relationships and commitments.

I don't know what I am in need of.

but at least I know what I don't want.

I don't want to give someone hope without even knowing what I want for myself and at this point, I don't think I am ready to invest myself emotionally into someone, it can only get worse at this rate if I get into a relationship.

I don't want to be confused in love...and in conclusion, all I can say is I am not ready to be in love. 

maybe with the right person, I don't have to overthink, I don't have to be scared, but I am not at all ready to let anyone into my life... don't even ask me how I am gonna find the right one..I'll just die single and I am ready for that than to be in a relationship.

I feel like I am a free soul, I am used to doing what I want, and these relationships just feel like a cage, thinking about a person every time you do something and someone putting you first before doing anything is just soo much pressure for me...maybe it will all just happen naturally in love but I don't want that...aaaargh this is just sooo frustrating. for now, let me live peacefully and I hope someday I'll cross all my fears for someone and finally be in LOVE happily, not with all my discomforts.


                                                                                                                                        - Mystery girl







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