Skip to main content

CHANGES

 I think I have written some posts related to changes already...since change is the only constant, I have to write about it again...

ummm....something I find weird about myself is when I think about a topic in my head, the positive and negative people in me fight themselves... i find both negative and positive about a subject... I rarely think about something in one way (when I hate/like it sooo much ).

okay coming to the point 'CHANGES'....ummm...I don't know if I have changed (my attitude/personality)...I really don't like when people change drastically...especially their attitude...I used to find it a difficult thing to accept other's changes... since I have also changed my perspective a little...I am not minding it anymore... but recently this incident happened...a person whom I used to be closest to, whom I used to share most of the things, whom I respected and valued...is not at all what they are in reality...it's only one side of them and when you see that other side of them suddenly..how it feels? a completely different person. in situations like this, I hate myself more than that I hate them... seriously I have very few people in my life who will check up on me daily from those few, people turn out like this...guess what I do?...the same... I stop talking to them, I just try to ignore them completely, it's my form of expression of how much I hate them and that situation. so I have completely removed that person from my life...still they want to make things normal...I know people matter more than these kinds of things but liked those people who are not themselves with me... I don't know how to act normal like I have noticed nothing before. it took me 2 years to be normal again...huh (guess how hard it will be if I love someone when I react like this to normal people in my life. that's what I am most scared of!)

I am really bad at judging people..whenever I find someone and believe someone in what they show or act in front of me...they prove me wrong...they have no idea how they make me feel for believing in them... I do feel bad for avoiding them, but that's how I protect myself...

however, I can't force people the way I want them or the way I imagined... I just don't give that place where their change matter to me...still how they expect to be normal again?...things will be never the same twice..they get better or worse but not the same I sayy...

however changes are for good, they are a kind of evolution for human personalities.

I also wish I could change myself...where I become more confident with myself, where I love myself, my life, what I am.

I wish I could talk in front of so many people with confidence...I really feel something when people give speeches, ted talks in front of so many people...isn't that feels great when those people whom you don't even know pay attention to your words...that applause...I know I sound greedy compared to my efforts...but I wish that law of attraction works😁.

At this point, I respect people's changes and wish for good changes in my life.

                                                 

                                                                                                                                  - Mystery girl

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Love is..??

Hmm... Love is??! Maybe love is missing someone, no matter how busy you are. Maybe love is liking the things that person used to like. Maybe love is an endless hope. Maybe love is that smile we get when we think of them. Maybe love is the pain we are aware of but still keep chasing. Maybe love is going back to the same person again and again. Maybe love is longing for someone, even when you know they won't be yours. Maybe love is finding comfort in their memories, even when they're not around. Maybe love is realizing that, no matter how far apart, they are always close to your heart. Maybe love is both joyful and painful, hopeful yet uncertain. Maybe love is confusion and clarity at the same time. Maybe love is...(you finish it!)                                                                  ...
5 comments
Read more

I was unlucky...

Yes... yes... I'm still alive. I don't know why, but I always start my posts with "I don't know"... maybe it reflects how confused I am. Hmm... moving on to my life. As you can see, I'm hardly able to write, and now I'm at a point where I can clearly see that both my love life and professional life are messed up. I chose the wrong path, even after all these days of thinking and choosing with so much consideration. And now, I don't know how to get out of either situation. I've committed to a job role for a year that isn't related to my core subjects at all, and I've given my heart to someone who can never love me the way I want. Both of these are hurting me. These days, I'm just stuck in a loop of thoughts, or else I'm crying. I take things seriously... seriously to the heart and head. I don't know how to live with all this mess in my mind. I'm just happy that I have this blog, which is like my sanctuary. I know no one reads ...
6 comments
Read more

so far 2025 is...

So far, 2025 has been hard, maybe the hardest. Every past year was tough, but this one feels like it's draining the life out of me. I left my job with hope, and it hasn't even been three months, yet I already feel like a loser. I mean, sometimes I even feel  underconfident because it's been almost a year since I graduated, and then... These months feel like three different lifetimes. I went on a trip in January, which was cool...because it was Kanyakumari. And then, again... I lost my uncle...Something I never, ever expected to happen. And now, I'm going through a tough time in my relationship. I mean, why do I have to go through all of this? It's not like I'm sitting idle. I'm taking on-call shifts at a nearby hospital, thinking about a startup, and applying to hundreds of jobs. But still, I feel like a failure.  I know, I know...I’m not a failure. I’m much better than this. But every single year, life keeps testing my patience and tolerance. At times, I’ve...
8 comments
Read more