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CHANGES

 I think I have written some posts related to changes already...since change is the only constant, I have to write about it again...

ummm....something I find weird about myself is when I think about a topic in my head, the positive and negative people in me fight themselves... i find both negative and positive about a subject... I rarely think about something in one way (when I hate/like it sooo much ).

okay coming to the point 'CHANGES'....ummm...I don't know if I have changed (my attitude/personality)...I really don't like when people change drastically...especially their attitude...I used to find it a difficult thing to accept other's changes... since I have also changed my perspective a little...I am not minding it anymore... but recently this incident happened...a person whom I used to be closest to, whom I used to share most of the things, whom I respected and valued...is not at all what they are in reality...it's only one side of them and when you see that other side of them suddenly..how it feels? a completely different person. in situations like this, I hate myself more than that I hate them... seriously I have very few people in my life who will check up on me daily from those few, people turn out like this...guess what I do?...the same... I stop talking to them, I just try to ignore them completely, it's my form of expression of how much I hate them and that situation. so I have completely removed that person from my life...still they want to make things normal...I know people matter more than these kinds of things but liked those people who are not themselves with me... I don't know how to act normal like I have noticed nothing before. it took me 2 years to be normal again...huh (guess how hard it will be if I love someone when I react like this to normal people in my life. that's what I am most scared of!)

I am really bad at judging people..whenever I find someone and believe someone in what they show or act in front of me...they prove me wrong...they have no idea how they make me feel for believing in them... I do feel bad for avoiding them, but that's how I protect myself...

however, I can't force people the way I want them or the way I imagined... I just don't give that place where their change matter to me...still how they expect to be normal again?...things will be never the same twice..they get better or worse but not the same I sayy...

however changes are for good, they are a kind of evolution for human personalities.

I also wish I could change myself...where I become more confident with myself, where I love myself, my life, what I am.

I wish I could talk in front of so many people with confidence...I really feel something when people give speeches, ted talks in front of so many people...isn't that feels great when those people whom you don't even know pay attention to your words...that applause...I know I sound greedy compared to my efforts...but I wish that law of attraction works😁.

At this point, I respect people's changes and wish for good changes in my life.

                                                 

                                                                                                                                  - Mystery girl

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