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life sucks

 sometimes i feel like am i cursed or what😫............. 

why do i have to go through all this drama.

every one may not have great like, but atleast some people have good family, then why i am only having this kind of "father".

i do dream about having happy days at home but that never happened (coz it's a dream!), i feel like hell at home.

sometimes i even get scared to call mom or when mom calls me when iam at hostel, coz i know she is going to tell me about that beast like human which is definitely going to hurt me.

i am done with crying and all, you can't even imagine how much that human made me cry and i had to go through a phase of like becoz of him and he never going to realize that.

the sad part is that i can't share this with anyone, coz i feel shamed, i feel miserable, i am afraid that people will feel pity on me. what can they even do if understand its a solution less problem i guess coz the person is the only problem.

i wish this house had atleast another room to avoid people, to say away arrrghhh! seriously life suck, does it all worth it.

if i see the future me iam going to question that do i have days where i am heartfully happy ? without any worries.

whatever the future maybe this childhood, teenage and till today is the past of mine which don't even want to remember again even in my dream.

at this point i am helplessly selfishly trying to escape from all this shit.

the thing is no one knows these things that run in my head, whom can understand me when my own people doesn't do. they listen to hurt me again that mistake is mine and say things like do only i have problems?, do you are only person to feel hurt? and some shitty words which end up hurting me even more, so its better to cry alone and feel depressed sometimes. coz every one here is to judge you, point out your mistakes rather than thinking in our point of you for a second.

i don't know if it's right or not but he never deserves my respect and concern for he is dooing now!.

everything and every moment clearly shows me that i am alone, iam the only one left for me.

                                                     


                                                                                                       - mystery girl

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