Skip to main content

my first day at hospital


as a pharm d student I have to visit hospital from college forward rounds once a week.
only that day I feel like satisfied about my college life.intereacting with patients is the most interesting thing.
this is my favourite thing. Visiting hospital gives a completely different experience like suddenly someone will shout like anything and someone will start crying arrhh it
is terrible to imagine...

the hospital that is affiliated with my college is a multispecialty hospital and also a medical institute. as it is multispeciality
hospital I has different departments I still get confused between them

coming to my first day....it was the second week of ward rounds for second years but first time for me.
me and one my friend was allowed to oncology ward..............huh!! it was my first day a to hospital and we had to deal with cancer patients
uhh!!......that ward was separately placed in another block from main block.......we(me and my friend ) don't even know the route to the ward
one of my senior helped us that day...if not we definetly lost our way to exit the hospital that day.

patients....oncology...cancer...chemotherapy...radiotherapy.....life..health...... this ward was completely different from other wards...
in every ward, people will be in a hurry and noisy. but this was like completely calm and don't know why the ground floor was dark...
I can still feel how I felt walking through that ward. I was little scared...... some people were lying on beds like dead bodies coz chemotherapy runs 
for hours......almost everyone's hair on head was completely trimmed....that chemo smell.......I was really scared, crying inside watching them all...

at that moment I realized the value of life.....they all were are struggling to live....no one wants a disease like cancer...it is more like a punishment
it can occur due to some habits like smoking, tobacco eating etc or geneticaly...no one can assume that those people are really victims...thank god for the advanced treatment, which can completely cure them.........as that hospital 
gives some consultation on health cards, most of them were middle-class people and old aged people.....being a person from a middle-class family with
that kind of disease is really a struggle......they had have strong mental support from family.

the patient we visited was suffering from breast cancer...her age about 40 yrs....her son was with her...she was already gone through two surgeries
and now it was metastasized to bones.....as second years we doesn't have that knowledge about cancer.....as it already Mets to the bone, if she doesn't get
accurate treatment don't know how many days she is going to live. she is fighting with her self ...........her children, her family.............urrghhh

next week when we went to hospital we tried to follow the but she didn't visited again... I still remember her..that smile she gave when we interacted......its been months.
where ever she is I wish she overcomes her phase of life not for her but also for her children...........


this was all the thing that I felt in my brain. I know its too much but I overthink every little thing.....
                                                      
                                                                                                                         -Mystery girl


                                                                                                       

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Love is..??

Hmm... Love is??! Maybe love is missing someone, no matter how busy you are. Maybe love is liking the things that person used to like. Maybe love is an endless hope. Maybe love is that smile we get when we think of them. Maybe love is the pain we are aware of but still keep chasing. Maybe love is going back to the same person again and again. Maybe love is longing for someone, even when you know they won't be yours. Maybe love is finding comfort in their memories, even when they're not around. Maybe love is realizing that, no matter how far apart, they are always close to your heart. Maybe love is both joyful and painful, hopeful yet uncertain. Maybe love is confusion and clarity at the same time. Maybe love is...(you finish it!)                                                                  ...

I was unlucky...

Yes... yes... I'm still alive. I don't know why, but I always start my posts with "I don't know"... maybe it reflects how confused I am. Hmm... moving on to my life. As you can see, I'm hardly able to write, and now I'm at a point where I can clearly see that both my love life and professional life are messed up. I chose the wrong path, even after all these days of thinking and choosing with so much consideration. And now, I don't know how to get out of either situation. I've committed to a job role for a year that isn't related to my core subjects at all, and I've given my heart to someone who can never love me the way I want. Both of these are hurting me. These days, I'm just stuck in a loop of thoughts, or else I'm crying. I take things seriously... seriously to the heart and head. I don't know how to live with all this mess in my mind. I'm just happy that I have this blog, which is like my sanctuary. I know no one reads ...

so far 2025 is...

So far, 2025 has been hard, maybe the hardest. Every past year was tough, but this one feels like it's draining the life out of me. I left my job with hope, and it hasn't even been three months, yet I already feel like a loser. I mean, sometimes I even feel  underconfident because it's been almost a year since I graduated, and then... These months feel like three different lifetimes. I went on a trip in January, which was cool...because it was Kanyakumari. And then, again... I lost my uncle...Something I never, ever expected to happen. And now, I'm going through a tough time in my relationship. I mean, why do I have to go through all of this? It's not like I'm sitting idle. I'm taking on-call shifts at a nearby hospital, thinking about a startup, and applying to hundreds of jobs. But still, I feel like a failure.  I know, I know...I’m not a failure. I’m much better than this. But every single year, life keeps testing my patience and tolerance. At times, I’ve...