Mystery Girl's Diaries

 That's what I was titled when I was trying to have an emotional conversation recently...what do you expect after that...Do you think that person has no self-respect or what?!.. When a person is trying to break the silence or awkwardness or trying to take the conversation a step ahead and open up about how they feel... "DRAMA"??!.. that's not how one should respond...make a minimum effort to understand where the person is coming from. No matter how hard you try some people are here to carry their generational traumas with them and some are building new. Being an empath or a so-called-sensitive person in between people who are scared to show their emotions, and who consider communicating or expressing as DRAMA, is hard. Seriously, it's really hard sometimes to be an empath, I really don't want to understand, I don't want to care about how they feel after what they did to me and sometimes I want to hurt them as I was...but I can't...I really can't he...

I don't know if my blog always feels so sad or blue or depressed or if it's just my feeling. currently, I am pretty much more than sad...maybe anguish agony level of sadness. that was on 15th April 9:04 pm. even I'm surprised sometimes when I read this kind of thing from..pretty intense... coz I believe I'm a happy person but when I get sad I'm sad too...I experience a level of sadness as much as I experience extreme happiness. me being that sad for a few hours doesn't define me or the way I live ...I'm positive a person and I do have negative times too.  yeah, today's post is about me and everyone and what they feel about themselves. I don't know if people judge or not but judging a person based on their one-day story or one-day behavior you can't decide the person's way of life. I am not ranting this because someone said something to me... I m hearing this because I judge myself more than anyone... At times of uncertainty, I blame myself fo...

 Some humans are faster than a flipped coin in the air.... Shifting side, unpredictable and TWO FACED... -Mystery girl  Literally i was about to sleep and Suddenly just a thought hit me and my data was completely exhausted to write a post here...some how I managed it but I made it to the WhatsApp on point.... It definitely after so much experience after dealing with people. Nothing happened specially or recently...just the writer in really wanted to write a quote or something...i think I did a better job. This is a short post. Good night to me now.

 That's what I was feeling recently during my regular session overthinking, One day afternoon through all the thoughts I quoted the situation of my life to a friend that I was feeling like a stone in the flow...where everyone is going with the flow, I don't know if I am strong/Stable or not but I definitely feel like my life isn't moving anywhere..there is no momentum...it is feeling like the same routine..even though I am making few major changes once in a while... I  mean financially, career-wise, or maybe personal growth. I know there are great parts of my life too but it's the bad things that bother us more. and in between all this chaos, I didn't even realize it was my birthday tomorrow...I mean I know and I remember but it's my brain that is not excited... I don't even know if should celebrate... I know I am hard on myself but I feel like I didn't even do anything great to celebrate my birthday. one the positive side I did took a few big decisions ...

I don't know what I am doing with my life these days... I don't know if I am impatient, impulsive, or aggressive... It is overwhelming... I have even cried after moving in..because it was too much for me to accept and all that happened in a single day... and guess what?! I left that internship after my 3rd day of work...of course, it was not at all related to my academics and they kind of started to stress me...well after all this what I thought was will I be ever able to do a 9 to 5 job. and my love life...I am trying my best..it is at its best right now. I am also enjoying these days...discovering new things about myself ...I am chef material believe me...I am pretty proud of myself... well I am also lazy....but these days I am having quality sleep and great naps. I just hope everything happened for something good in the future and I badly want to earn this year.                              ...

I know...I know... I am being lazy and busy these days and in between these days, some massive changes have happened in my life in the last week.  Sooo... I have moved out of the hostel and NOWW, I am living alone in my space(I am screaming inside). I don't know if what I did is right or what I did was a great decision but yeah it is what I have always wanted and it happened....I have manifested indeed. Of course, my parents are aware and I happened to have a small argument kind of thing at the hostel that I have stayed in. Well! let's say, it helped me to move out finally... I have struggled soo much more than I need by staying there. on this note, I am really grateful for my family and mossttt importantly my friends, who support me, help me, and tolerate me ... I am really really grateful for having a few people who always think of me and look after me.... all the love right back to them Anyway, Wish me luck.... all I know is whatever happens it is going to be an experience, ...

   "Not everything lost needs to be found  Not everything you lose is a loss. Some situations are meant to free you. Some experiences are meant to teach you. let them." Let's say it is the quote of the day. I don't know, but I want to look back on this quote someday when I lose something(yeah my life is different having different kinds of fantasies). I haven't really lost something that serious till now or whatever I lost was not that important probably I don't leave things that easily if I feel that important in my life. whatever or whoever lost me, it is their loss clearly. Not for me everyone should feel like that, if you have given your best in a relationship or to a person it is never your loss. Whatever was lost was never yours or never meant to be yours. The attachment might be hard to forget, and the memories might be hard to remember but everything has a threshold is what I believe, there comes a point in everyone's life where things stop botherin...