Mystery Girl's Diaries

 Crying has always been a part of my life... you can call me sensitive or crybaby or whatever. coz even I thought, that I was sensitive, I blamed myself for a few years and you know as I went through a phase where all I did was cry...well it was bad and I will be bad when I lose control. and here I am stopped blaming myself and yeah this is the way I am. I am sensitive, I am emtotioanl. I get deeply connected to things..there was a time when I cried because some kids plucked the plant that I planted. Everyone has different coping mechanisms for the things that happen in their everyday lives, maybe crying is my way of coping with things. and because of "Me" feeling too much for things or emotionally getting connected to things, I can understand things in a different way, maybe because of that, I can write whatever I'm writing here. So embracing ourselves, the way we are is necessary once in a while but don't encourage yourself in such a way that bothers others. and I s...

Yeah, what I meant to say is it is what it is accept it the way it is and just move on. No matter how much you try, no matter how much you want some things are just not meant for us ..people need to realize accept and move on. No matter how much you fantasize about it in your head, some things are just not meant for us. Some people never change. Some people never want you no matter how hard your efforts are. No matter how much you try to fit in, some places are not meant for you. On the other hand, some things happen just effortlessly, you don't have to force yourself. You don't have to overexplain yourself, some people just get you. Some places are just meant for you, where everything just feels right. What I say is, whatever the situation may be, there is a time where people have to realize things and just accept the things the way they are. There are people who succeed after years of trying, which is really great, but there are also people who give up and find their thing af...

 yeayyy.....finally, I have manifested a trip.....this year I desperately wished for a trip on the new year and even on my birthday too... I went on a trip... which was a sudden plan actually, I never thought that it would actually work out..but yeah everything was in our favor and we had a great tour... Of course, so many bad things did happen in between... I mean not bad but the kind of things that made us panic... even before we started, we didn't find a vehicle, the one we thought was not worked out..then the car was all set, just after we started vehicle suddenly stopped, don't know why but I didn't have any expectations or plans. my brain was completely blank, neither with positive nor negative thoughts. however, it started working again and we started again. then, we got lost in an unknown route, that route was terrible and terrific it was kind of a thriller for me, and trust me that route in the dense forest at midnight was worth a horror film, and you know what aft...

 I want a forever. I am sorry, but I want nothing less. I want someone who will stay. I want to grow old with someone, sharing every day, sharing the little things. And yes, I also want to have the same excitement and passion, even on our last day on earth. So you are not allowed to get bored of me or anything that I do. When I smile at you, it should not be "I have seen that smile a million times." No, I want to see that longing in your eyes that you too want to join me in a smile. I am a crazy person. I do the silliest of things. And I want you to react to them, the same way. If you scream at me, scream forever. If you throw a pillow at me for taunting you, throw the pillow forever. If you find me cute when I kiss your forehead, then give me the same warm look forever. Are you getting me? I want everything to last, forever, the same way. I don’t want the love to fizzle out. I don’t want the intensity to lose steam with years. I don’t want you to ever get bored of me or my t...

  “are goodbyes ever easy?” . “no, they are not supposed to be.” . “i’ll miss you. i suppose, i’m myself the most when i am with you, you know?” . “it’s okay.” . that was my last conversation with him. letting go is probably the most difficult thing to do. deep down, all you want is to hug that person tightly and tell them to stay, but you smile and wish them luck instead. it’s not easy for you to make bonds and get close to people. you get attached too quickly, and then you try to hold on to them, for as long as you can. with them, you feel like yourself. you share the same kind of taste in music and you find comfort in each other’s presence. you don’t smile the same way, with anyone else. you have so many memories together, and all you want is to run back to that familiar feeling. life is never constant. people come and go. it haunts us when people leave, but we can carry only so much hurt and heartbreak in our palms, and we eventually heal. we start over and give new definitions...

 This is the thing I have been observing around me for the past few days... and let me tell you this is the thing I hate THE most. I hate when people start depending on me emotionally, kind of clingy which I don't like at all..that is why I stay away from emotionally connecting to people, let's say emotional distance... now...what happens when you emotionally depend on someone? there are so many cons compared to pros... first of all emotional dependency can be seen in every kind of relationship, between family members, friends, lovers, etc, etc,. so what happens when you emotionally depend on someone is...you expect...you become possessive, you want all of them even occupying their own space. emotional dependency is great until it is equal from both sides and when the opposite person is wise enough to understand them and make the other one understand about their needs. At some point, it becomes your weakness to be emotionally dependent on others and it becomes equally annoying ...

 https://youtu.be/TTdbnc2ayys  I was watching this video..and felt wow..it was relatable, it was like a moment of realization...that he spoke the truth... As he says... everyone has to go through something dark in their lives to realize something bigger than that... It's not depression or anxiety...we as souls get drained at some point in our lives and just hit that rock bottom and life is all about dwelling on that dark phase and coming out from that...as he says in that most of them don't get out of that but some people come out of that with a level of spiritual or emotional awareness... Yep..that is absolutely correct...some people don't get that and suffer for a long time and people who face that and raise again will live a different life...it's like their rebirth... Well, I guess it's a beautiful process like a caterpillar to a butterfly and everyone should experience that to realize a few things about their lives to change their perspective and maybe more than...