Mystery Girl's Diaries

 Don't know why but in the middle of this night I just wanna write something.... Telugu hah! "Jeevitham lo Brathakadam kosam dabbulu sampadinchadam veru , dabbunte ne Jeevitham anukovadam veru".....  ofcourse money is important but money is not every thing right?, there are also many things beyond money in life. I just wanna questions again and again, why are you soo much attracted to Money or fond of money which doesn't even lasts with you till the end, why people choose money over people. don't they feel anything about them self (who are after money) , do they think people don't even notice, do they ever think or question themselves how stupid they are being.  shhh!!! my brain is really going crazy becoz of those kind of people and their stupid behavior around me. i wish they could realize that someone is watching them and disgusting they are making people around them.                          ...

  Umm... I was watching some motivational videos of gaur Gopal das, which came on my youtube suggestions......... it was really good (as always)... while watching I just remembered dialogue from jr.ntr  "Viney timeu, cheppe manshi Valla vishayam viluve maaripothundi".... haha too filmy dialogue but its fact......when you come to hear the thing you were in need to hear makes more sense... maybe because you are in that situations, we often don't have someone to make us hear those things....especially in these days, in this virtual era of social media and materialistic people. well luckily some influencers, motivational speakers, writers do.  I really appreciate those speakers "motivational". I don't know what are they up to or maybe they are fake.but their videos make sense at least to me...... of course they not completely motivate me but they make me feel calm for some time.......okay now this whole thing is because I think everyone loses their motivation wh...

 ummmhmm.....5 months....almost half a year!!😶.........just realized I did nothing even after getting 6 months of free time...actually that's what I was wishing for before lockdown. I wanted a break from my life though I did nothing much. I was mentally disturbed..... sometimes it feels like was it my wish that came true.😅, is this lockdown happened for me..haha....... it was great, it is!.... well I did nothing great but I did somethings that I would have never done before and maybe it would not have done if everything was normal annd maybe I may never get this kind of break or free time in future....that is why it's great to have a time like this. I love reading, but I had never had much time to read a novel ( can only read when my mind is stable). this time I had read a dozen books... which I would haven't if everything was normal if I am was in my hostel😅 I love everything which makes me think new, I love fashion designing too, I can't say it's my passion, I ...

Maybe these are called over expectations and they sound too much for other I never wanted to work under others....like, I don't want to do a job......... I always wanted to do something creative which give me satisfaction in living my life...I want to explore, I want to start something new........I always wanted to do something different.... Where I can use my brain for my things and where I can work hard for my thoughts..... Huh!   I am a student now... Thinking about all these things may not help me in any way... Because my thoughts and my career are completely different from each other... I hope I could use both of them...... I don't want a common daily life like ....first studies, then a job, then marriage within one year or two, then family....aaargh........ never...I don't want that... May I get the power to live my life like I wanted to... I want to live my life to the fullest........but iam afraid that what if I end up doing nothing!?.     ...

Have you ever had a moment in your life where everything going around you seemed fake and everyone around you made you feel like they are faking themselves? I think now I am in that moment..... Where I can sense everyone around me are actually faking their actions according to their needs..... being around those people made me question myself "do I am also faking??" ... The thing is I am neutral... Where I can't react as neither real nor fake.. because "I am Poor" financially!, according to those fakes....but I guess I am having a much meaning full life than they...this not judging them, this what I can clearly watch everyday.  These fake things really make me feel guilty about myself because I also know their true faces. One thing that I learnt is People only remember you according to their needs or your financial status... I hope people don't fall in the trap of those fake people. Just watch their performance and enjoy.                 ...

  i really have so much to talk about people because what i thought and experienced as a kid and what  is all now is completely different..........as i am growing i am getting to know a lot and lot of things which are really surprising, disappointing , stupid and foolish sometimes........may be it is common..i think every one goes through this phase...... but mind gets every exited when i get to know some thing specially when its a new or first time i get to know.... ofcourse in the end i have to accept that but after knowing somethings that are indigestible neither you could react nor you could make any changes all you have to do is wait and watch thing even after knowing that is a bad or worst thing ,that is going in front of your eyes.........iam not regarding to some in my life that i could remember, but there was one situation that was really worst.....i regret why did i get to know such thing...it really disturbed my inner peace and also  made me realize that you ca...

Today at this moment I am just feeling like I had the most stupidest argument in my life..... It was meaningless..... Just perfectly stupid........ I am not going to have that kind of stupidity in my life again intentionally..... I thought to make understand something to a person.... But it was really really stupid.... Soo lame one...... I am very proud that I don't have any thing like that in my personal life.... I argued for someone... Who was insane....... Iam really proud of my self that iam not atleast that stupid.... Thank god..... I don't want any kind of stupidity in my life....... Hugh... I am exhausted, drained....... Aaaah wtf... Okay it's going late.... Bye                                                                     -Mystery girl